Seth Godin comes up with brilliant marketing concepts.

But at times, I find myself on the opposite side of the fence with his opinions.

This is one such instance – primarily because of the choice of his examples. In his recent post, “Why you might choose to be in favor of transparency“, Seth refers to:

1. Why doctors should encourage transparency in their results.

2. An Indian bureaucrat’s argument in favor of legalizing bribery in some instances.

The variable being ignored or brushed aside, in this over-simplification of what is in reality a rather intricate and involved interaction of ‘action’ and ‘reaction’, is the dynamic impact transparency (or the risk thereof) can have upon the action being performed itself.

A surgeon whose operation is transmitted live to a patient’s family sitting outside the O.R. (something that’s technically possible) is bound to be nervous and jittery, even to a point where he may make more mistakes or errors of judgment.

‘Anonymous’ transparency, as when an institution reveals aggregate data of medical performance statistics, is free of this effect.

As is internally audited information that is initially perused only by competent and qualified experts who know how to interpret the technical data.

Most hospital departments have weekly or monthly audits to monitor performance, even sub-stratified by specialty or individual practitioner. But this is NOT made public – for good reason!

When patients post reviews, they are conditioned and influenced (not unreasonably) by emotion, personal feelings and incomplete technical knowledge. Having that in the public domain, where it may adversely impact the general perception of a highly skilled and qualified technical specialist, isn’t quite good practice.

How many of us are competent to judge intricate economic decision-making, or the rightness of protocols to shut down nuclear plants in a melt-down situation, or merits and drawbacks of a cutting-edge technological innovation like stem-cell therapy, or cloning, or nano-tech?

Not many. In fact, precious few. Yet transparency in these processes is being called “desirable”.

Exactly why?

‘Empowerment’ is not making data available willy-nilly – but more of allowing access to it by qualified experts who are able to make sense of it.

The paper by the Indian bureaucrat is intriguing… though also whimsical.

In this instance, it is presumed that the bribe-taker has ethical standards, and will cringe or worry about being outed in his bribe-taking. Reality, though, is different. Everybody concerned KNOWS already that these folks are taking bribes. It isn’t as if making this information public will change much, if anything at all.

And the bribe-taker knows it’s possible to bribe one’s way out of being prosecuted – unless you’re small fry! See this interesting cartoon from a recent issue of ‘The Hindu’.

The risk, then, of being too transparent, is that you become invisible!

Image source Flickr.com

Living in a nation of over 1 billion people gives me rare exposure to extremes.

I see people who are fabulously wealthy, and others who are desperately poor. I know many ambitious, hard-working people, as well as lazy and listless others. I am aware of folks who are brilliant, talented and skilled, but also of those who are not.

And seeing these diverse outliers leads me to better appreciate, empathize with, and feel deep gratitude for “being in the middle”.

Like a pendulum that swings to either limit of its arc, only to return to the mid-point – until its sweep slows down and comes to rest at that neutral space in between – I have begun to realize the importance philosophers place on that state of being that craves inner silence and quiet peace.

The restless hustle to hurry towards extremes is gradually giving way to a calmer acceptance of the placid intermediate zone.

No longer are fanciful dreams of being ridiculously rich or paranoid panic about becoming pathetically poor as shattering or thrilling as they once were.

They are being replaced by a moral sense (that’s growing ever stronger) of ‘working towards the mean’. Of using wealth to reach out to help the poor. Of using strength to advocate for the weak. Of using talent to support the under-privileged.

And as I do, I’m meeting hundreds of others who are also moved by the same universal urge to feel a certain way.

That we matter.

That we are cared for.

That we are loved.

(Recommended reading: “The Arc of the Universe Bends Toward Justice” by Chris Guillebeau

No one.

Everyone.

This morning, I was reading a news story about Apple Inc’s succession plans. Co-founder and CEO Steve Jobs was credited with turning around the company from near bankruptcy in 1997 to one with the “highest valuation of any technology company” in just 15 years.

It got me wondering. Jobs has so much media coverage today. But will anyone care (or even remember) 100 years from now?

Now, that’s speculation. But easier to validate by looking backwards. To one hundred years ago.

Who was the tech CEO darling of 1911, do you know?

Or which business barons have lasted long enough in the public memory to be iconic after so long?

I Googled 1911, and found this on Wikipedia.

On April 8, Heike Kamerlingh Onnes discovered “Superconductivity”, the concept that powered development of MRI scanners and mass spectrometers and particle accelerators.

On December 29, Sun Yat-sen’s revolutionaries overthrew the Qing dynasty to become the first President of the Republic of China (and he became the ‘Father of modern China’).

New Zealand-born British physicist Ernest Rutherford deduced the existence of a compact atomic nucleus from scattering experiments that year.

But even mighty Google has precious little about business leaders and entrepreneurs – though there were no doubt dozens who hogged the media limelight and were ‘today’s heroes’ even in those early years!

And that got me thinking –

Who matters… 100 years later?

Obviously not the media superstars. That flash vanishes fast. So who does?

Look at yourself in the mirror.

Go on. Do it now.

Smile.

What do you see grinning back at you?

That’s the composite (and evolved) result of real people who lived one hundred years before.

Your grand-parents.

And their parents.

Your ancestors.

Their genes live on in YOU. You probably remember them as people. If not, you’ve heard things about them from your own parents or relatives.

They matter – because they live on in you.

In your memories.

In your genes.

Just as you will… in future generations to come.

So… EVERYONE matters – 100 years from now.

Yes, even you.

And me

They are the most enjoyable moments of my crowded day.

The pleasant, cool evening breeze caressing our faces, we stroll through the streets and bylanes of our neighborhood hand in hand – my daughter and I.

We share desultory gossip interspersed with profound wisdom. I’m amazed at how much I learn from her. I wish we’d recorded all of these discussions.

Today we explored an interesting theme.

Of life – as a song.

We all go through certain things in common.

Childhood. School. Puppy love. College. Romance. Marriage. Career. Kids. Aging and ailments. And, in the end, death.

The timing and sequence of these events varies, but most of us will experience all of them.

Together, they constitute the background music of our lives.

For some, the music becomes, in itself, the entirety of life. For others, there is the song.

Wealth, success and self-determinism (or the quest for them) set us on the path to doing unique, different or remarkable things. They become our voice, used to sing the lyrics of a melody that’s our life.

Sometimes, our words match the music. At other times, they drown it out, or are in discordant variance to it. And there are periods when they fade out, to let the background sounds dominate.

And for some of us, the song of our life is a nice, pleasant solo performance.

For others, it is a beautiful concert – full-blown, exciting, widely applauded and celebrated.

We get to decide to sing… and pick the song we want our lives to be.

Start singing!

Contrasting when I was in my thirties against being 40+ years old now, there’s a significant shift in my attitude, perspective and thinking.

Maybe it is similar for many others, too. (Including you?)

Typically, the first 3 decades of our life is spent growing up, and acquiring skills or knowledge. By the time we’re 30, it’s time to put it all into action.

If one word could describe how I felt around that age, it would be “hungry”.

Hungry for fame. Hungry for success. Hungry for wealth.

And for achievement, making dreams come true, and reaching for the stars.

Like a heavyweight boxer who knows every punch he lands in the ring carries the terrible impact of hundreds of hours of training, I knew that my actions will also pack a powerful punch. Behind that lies the force of all the learning and practice that went earlier.

And I was eager to get in as many as I could on target.

Turning forty added one significant shift. Knowing the power that’s available on tap, the question arose of whether or not to use it, and when.

The word that now took precedence over “hungry” was – “reflective“.

No, the ambitions didn’t weaken. The dream didn’t fade. The vision wasn’t growing dim.

But alongside it, another presence grew stronger – and it kept asking “Why?”

There was a time when I wouldn’t think twice about staying up all night working on something important, just to get it done. Today I wonder if that’s really necessary.

There were occasions where I would happily plot the downfall of someone – a competitior, a rival, a critic – who got in the way of my eager enthusiasm to work towards a challenging goal. These days, I don’t think it matters so much as getting things done in another way, bypassing him (or her).

There used to be circumstances when I’d place my fiery desire for a worthy result ahead of everything else in my life. Now, the passion still burns strong – but isn’t a constant, roaring, all-consuming flame.

I have grown reflective.

Because my philosophy has changed.

With wider experience, more reading, intimate interaction with more people, and a deeper empathy with cross-sections of humanity I’ve never known (or cared much for) earlier, there are many more and variegated threads in the rich tapestry of my life.

As I ponder these changes at the end of the first decade of a new century, I can’t help but wonder how much more will evolve at each succeeding landmark – fifty, sixty, seventy, and beyond.

I can’t wait to see!

(If you’re older – or even younger – and would care to give it a thought, tell me what YOUR word is for the decade that’s gone, and the one that is. Tweet me @drmani on Twitter!)

As I walked back home after dropping my daughter off at school – an enjoyable thing I’ve done off and on for 9 years – I had an interesting internal mini-conversation.

“I’m forty-three. I’m healthy. Have a wonderful family. No financial worries. A decent career. A passion to pursue.”

I glanced up.

Leafy green boughs of twenty-year old trees arched gracefully across the now quiet avenue. A blue sky with white fluffy clouds peeped through the branches, bright and clear in the soft morning sunlight.

I felt a small thrill of excitement run through me, as the next words formed inside my mind:

“I am happy!”

It felt more intense at that moment.

Nothing had changed in my outside world.

I had just become more aware of it!

In your world, do people walk on the roof? Or do trees hang out of the sky?

Of course, not.

Yet, if you study the way that images of various objects in your Universe are projected onto your eye, you’ll realize that’s exactly how they should appear.

Your brain does some nimble jujitsu – and flips the inverted image around… so that everything “makes sense”.

Now think of a kaleidoscope. Isn’t it amazing how just 3 carefully oriented mirrors can turn the same few grains of colored glass or sand into such a wide array of fascinating, unique patterns?

These are just a very tiny example of our brain’s enormous potential for “manipulating” data and arriving at conclusions. We may each process the same (or similar) inputs, but nurture widely divergent impressions that are derived from them.

Those perceptions are what, collectively, make up our ‘world view’ or belief systems.

The good (bad?) news is that YOU have the power to flip them around – just like you do with the image that falls upon your retina – to “make sense”.

Interesting, huh?

Look, I realize a 500 word post on a blog isn’t likely to change your worldview or the way you see life. But then again, it might – in some small way. So I’ll share parts of a conversation I had last night.

Viji and I went to medical school together. We last spoke in 1989. Yes, twenty years ago. So when I picked up the phone at 10 p.m. to hear her voice introducing herself, it was a very pleasant surprise!

Sunday generally finds me in a more introspective mood than during working weekdays. And maybe it’s a reflection of a common way of thinking amongst members of a generation, or perhaps we both share a similar view of life, but our hour-long discussion ranged over various topics related to our professional, family and personal lives – with near-perfect resonance on our thinking about most issues.

On this post, I’ll talk about only one of them. A mindset. One that stems from two perspectives or belief systems.

“I deserve”.

And “I want”.

What emerged from our conversation, that’s based on a collective experience of 80+ years of life on Earth, is a feeling that most discontent and unhappiness for people in our circle of contact stems from either:

A sense of entitlement – “I deserve”

A desire for what isn’t theirs yet – “I want”

And while one (the desire) can be framed in a positive way, to fire one’s path towards a set of goals, the other is generally a formula for unhappiness because, frankly, no one cares what you think you deserve!

And no one is about to bend over backwards to make sure you get it.

This seems a common theme across Western and Eastern lifestyles, and is constant across continents (at least in India and the U.S.).

So what’s the way around these two self-defeating attitudes, then?

One small shift of thinking – towards a platform of gratitude.

Being thankful for EVERYTHING one has, including the reality of being alive today, healthy, well-fed, in possession of one’s faculties, with family and friends around… for the world, for nature, for technology, for society… for yourself, for me, and for the others in the world.

In short, being grateful for everything, without a sense of entitlement for what you have, or a grasping greediness for what you don’t, is a surefire recipe for finding deep, soul-satisfying happiness and joy in daily life.

Try this simple exercise (I’ve followed it every day, for nearly ten years now).

Wake up in the morning, and with your eyes still closed, tell yourself:

“I’m grateful for being alive today!”

You’ll be amazed at how much this simple statement will change the way you view the events that you’ll face and experience through the rest of your day.

You’ll still feel you deserve some things. And yes, you’ll keep wanting stuff. That’s only human.

But you’ll feel thankful for whatever you already have – and that will make a big difference.

(500 words!)

Humility is not well understood. Most people under-estimate themselves, or have low self esteem… and mistake it for humility.

But there are others who really understand humility. In spite of being great, famous, and well-known.

Or, perhaps, because of it.

Yesterday, I read this on the blog of one of India’s biggest celebrities. He’s talking about his experience, walking on the ramp at a fashion show – for the first time:

“What happened after is a blur… It’s the most frightening of any of the escapades that we have been facing. Nothing is playing on the mind. I walk without acknowledging any one or anything. I do not even know that I am walking… I am not sure whether I am flying or sliding or what. Its a strange feel… but do know, that, that is the most difficult act to perform.”

You might justifiably assume that this is a newbie to public performance… until I tell you that the person is Amitabh Bachchan, a Bollywood super-star who has been in the frontline of Indian cinema for well over FORTY years!

How many celebrities would dare expose such personal vulnerability – on a public blog?

Not a lot. Except the truly humble. Who realize just how fragile and evanescent everything is. And accept the rewards of their achievement from a standpoint of gratefulness and fortune, instead of posturing as ’self-determined success-stories’.

Is it a coincidence, then, that these are people who leave deeper footprints on the sands of time? Ones that last, perhaps, a little longer than the rest?

I drew inspiration and energy from Mr.Bachchan’s words. If a 40 year veteran of being in the public eye can feel fear when doing something new, and still go ahead and do it anyway… there’s a clear message in there for anyone listening.

Feel the fear – but do it anyway.

Having had the privilege of briefly meeting Mr.Bachchan in the flesh some months ago, I know that his humility is no posture or image. It reflects in everything he does… the way he behaves.

True humility leaves clues.

And coincidentally, I was reading today’s newspaper interview with Mr.Bachchan’s daughter-in-law, former Miss World and now Bollywood star, Aishwarya Rai. It was about a recent Tamil movie I had watched – ‘Robot’ (Enthiran) – starring another icon in South Indian films, Rajnikanth.

He’s been acting in films for 35 years, and done over 150 of them. He’s Asia’s highest paid actor, after Jackie Chan. And his influence over an adoring public is legendary, as witnessed by the crucial impact he has on electoral politics in our State.

About him, the leading lady of the movie ‘Robot’ says:

“As a person, he is so humble.”

Again, this is a sentiment I’ve heard many people echo about Rajni. His greatness hasn’t changed that. Or, maybe, it stems from that core of humility.

I want to know.

I would love to meet Mr.Rajnikanth, too.

Hopefully, I will – soon.

Lately, I’ve been hit by a wave of ‘busy-ness’ around me!

My daughter can’t join me on an evening walk – since she’s too busy, with class tests to study for and homework to finish.

My cousin can’t attend our niece’s wedding – because he’s too busy, has project deadlines to meet, work backlogs to wade through.

My nephew can’t come to our family dinner – as he’s too busy, has assignments to get done, an after-hours training program to attend.

It’s crazy!

Yes, I understand being busy. It’s my default setting! But I don’t understand letting busy-ness interfere with other important things in life.

I feel like screaming at them: Get Over Yourself!

We all like to feel important.

And yes, you really are important. There’s only one of YOU – and you are special. What you do matters, in a deep, significant, unique way.

But spin it as much as you like, you aren’t quite indispensable… no matter who you are, no matter what you do.

And the best way to realize that is to imagine a world where you no longer exist.

• Will your company or factory or hospital really grind to a halt because you no longer work there?

• Will your friends give up all else they are doing and mourn your absense for the rest of their lives?
• Will your family starve and suffer and waste away hopelessly without you around to take care of them?

Obviously not.

If you stop going to work tomorrow, your boss will either have you replaced, or set up processes to work around you… or maybe even abandon your project. True, it will hurt in the short run – but adaptation is key to survival, and we are hard-wired to adapt, evolve and survive.

Life rolls on – with you, without you, in spite of you.

The day you start realizing that, accepting it, and integrating that reality into your belief systems is when you really start enjoying the unique preciousness that’s YOU.

Oh, and you’ll also have more fun!