by Dr.Mani on September 4, 2009
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A suddenly intense wave of emotion washed over me as I sat staring at my computer screen this morning, contemplating my work week.
Had I made a different choice ten years earlier, I might be fighting off a crowd of people who called in weeks ahead to fix an appointment to meet me and hand over large amounts of money to have me repair their hearts – or tell them they had nothing to worry about.
Instead, I made another choice.
And today, most of my typical day is spent knocking on virtual doors of people I ASK for money to help fund a child’s heart operation – because their family cannot afford it.
The answer is often “No”. And each time I hear it, a small voice within asks: “Was my choice right?”
- It’s louder when, in return for a week of patient negotiating, I get a short mention at the bottom of someone’s email newsletter.
- It gets harder to ignore when a person’s help desk, manned by a virtual assistant, blocks access to decision makers.
- It sounds mocking when I see how folks who once eagerly sought my support to promote their business now say they’re too busy or overwhelmed to help.
It would be another thing if I didn’t have any other options. But I did.
And made my choice.
It’s a choice that has helped many little kids receive an operation they otherwise may not have.
But the stark contrast between the two alternatives I had keeps that question nagging away at me.
Was my choice right?
There are times – like today – when I just am not sure.
Time will tell.
by Dr.Mani on August 17, 2009
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Image credit www.sxc.hu
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
“The Road Not Taken” by Robert Frost
I read these words today with more than a twinge of fear, foreboding, but overriding it, excitement. That’s how one often feels at certain rare points in life which you know beforehand to be major crossroads.
Both directions are inviting. Either may be the “best” to pick. But you only have a choice to select one of them.
What makes this even more poignant at this point in time is that there are TWO such decisions awaiting me… one professional, the other business.
Either could lead to fantastic things, stuff that takes me well within the reach of once-impossible dreams.
Or not.
And that uncertainty is what’s causing these mixed feelings.
At the same time, age and experience are wonderful things. They have given me the wisdom to know that because both outcomes are possible, and there isn’t any definite way to know which is better or worse, indecision or hesitation or anxiety about the choice I’ll be making shortly isn’t relevant – or desirable.
So I’ll pick my path more confidently than I’ve done in the past.
And keep in mind an aphorism I recall from my younger days:
“When the difference is great, the right choice is immediately obvious. When it isn’t, it probably doesn’t matter either way!”
There’s also a rather more fatalistic quote I have in mind, and shared with my followers on Twitter. It’s this:
“If you want something badly, let it go. If it comes back, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, it never was yours to begin with!”
