by Dr.Mani on January 17, 2010
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Today is different. Ever since waking up, I’ve been feeling things differently.
More intensely.
It started first thing in the morning. Being disturbed early on a Sunday morning by bright sunlight streaming in through half-drawn curtains, the buzzing of a mosquito in my ear, would regularly leave me annoyed. Not today. I felt happy – that I have a roof over my head, a net to guard me from those tiny ‘marauding monsters’, and the gift of a new day to enjoy.
When I sat down to a breakfast of left-over macaroni and cheese, I didn’t feel vaguely dissatisfied or yearn for something tastier, fresher, healthier. Instead, I felt grateful – that there’s food on my table, and that I’m well enough to eat it, taste it, relish it.
The sight of my uncleaned car would typically irritate me, the act of giving it a hurried wash performed with distaste and in a rush. But today, I lingered over it, feeling joy – that I have a car (with a full tank) to drive to work.
As I wove my way over pot-holed roads, zig-zagging and swerving to avoid gaping voids in the tarmac, I didn’t curse and lament as usual. Not this morning. I was happy – that there was a road to drive on.
Stopping at red lights, always guaranteed to generate a frisson of frustration, didn’t change this overall mood either. I saw it as a symbol of a framework that allows peaceful, streamlined co-existence amongst thousands of my fellow citizens, the alternative to which is chaos and bedlam.
At hospital, I was examining my little patient who had heart surgery last week – and felt a rush of deep satisfaction for the work I’m involved in, mixed with a deep gratitude for having a healthy child of my own.
All this intense feeling about things I had taken for granted until today was because I realized, very poignantly and bluntly, how fragile things are in our Universe.
In Haiti, last week, there were people who had similar things – and they no longer do. Thousands aren’t even alive. Millions would gladly switch places with me – or you – without any hesitation.
And yet, how often have we felt intensely about what we have, what we are, what we could become?
Shouldn’t we feel intensely more often? About more things?
by Dr.Mani on June 25, 2009
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Dr.Srinath Reddy intelligently and intellectually analyses what’s wrong with medical education in India in his editorial in THE HINDU – The missing ‘E’s of medical education. But, perhaps naively, he has ignored something important – the HUMAN element!
Most, if not all, doctors practicing medicine know that a battery of tests often serves no real benefit in terms of diagnosis of an ailment. But they do know that it translates into an economic advantage, direct or indirect, which is the reason why it keeps being done. Avarice, not ignorance, is the driving force.
Equally romantic is the idea of ‘teaching’ empathy to a medical student. It is not like trying to teach ‘obedience’ or ‘honesty’ (which are behaviours) to a school boy, but like trying to inculcate ‘love’ or ‘concern’ or ‘affection’ (which are emotions) in a grown-up.
One is born with them (or grows up in early childhood developing them) – or one doesn’t.
And when the seed of these emotions lie inside, it is almost impossible to deal with human suffering as a clinician without being deeply touched by the emotional roller-coaster that any doctor rides each day in professional life. (See “Doctors Die a Little Every Day“)
Medical practitioners who function as highly skilled automatons are a reality of any country, or form of medical education for this very reason.
Some refine their skill set, while dulling and walling off their feelings, as a protective barrier that permits efficiently carrying out their duties. Others refuse to get involved and deeply engaged with their patients, more as a reflection of their personality and nature, rather than their medical training.
I also take strong exception to the blanket statement that ethical role models are non-existent. I have personally been influenced by the high ethical standards of many of my own professors and teachers, like Dr.A.M.Selvaraj, Dr.V.G.Tapase and many more, and have tried, in my own practice, to be one for my students who choose to follow and model me.
While there are many good points in Dr.Srinath’s editorial, especially in the area of imparting epidemiological knowledge to Indian medical students, in the end what will make them better doctors has less to do with what they are formally taught in college, and more to do with what kind of people they essentially are.
Empathy is a noble human emotion. Avarice is an ignoble human emotion. And doctors have both. Because doctors are, after all, human.
