Twitter: To Follow – Or NOT

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To Follow – Or NOT To Follow… that is the question.

On Twitter, of course.

The question always sparks off emotional debate and passionate rhetoric on forums and blogs – which is why I’ll explore it in depth.

First, have you answered the two Flash Poll questions I asked about this? If not, please do it now – the polls are here.

Done? Thanks.

Now – the first poll asked the question:

“Are you upset, angry or hurt that I don’t follow you back on Twitter?”

I have over 2,000 people following me on Twitter – and only follow 40 back.

Before getting into the why and wherefore, let me tell you a little story. It involves some make-believe, ok? Ah, fun!

Let’s imagine you HATE lemonade. Maybe you never liked lemons. Or you are allergic to them. Or lemonade evokes some unpleasant memories you want to avoid. Or there’s some other reason – silly or profound.

Anyway. You walk into my store, and I come up to you with a smile, and hand you a glass of nice, cool lemonade.

When you see it’s lemonade, you tell me: “No, thanks, I don’t want it. Sorry.”

I can react in one of many ways.

Reaction #1:

I think: “Oh, maybe you don’t like lemonade!”

And I say: “Ok, would you like something else instead?”

Reaction #2:

I think: “You don’t like me!”

It makes me SAD.

And I go: “Oh, you’re so cruel. Why don’t you like me? Why? WHY?” – and burst into tears!

Reaction #3:

I think: “You’re so rude!”

It makes me ANGRY.

And I say: “That’s such a nasty way to behave! Don’t you know it’s bad manners to do that?”

Reaction #4:

I think: “You snubbed me!”

It makes me feel INSULTED.

And I hit back: “Oh-ho, think you’re high and mighty, too good to have a drink of lemonade at our store, huh?”

And there are some more variations – but you get the idea.

My question now for you is this:

“How would YOU react?”

Now, when you’ve thought about it, imagine that instead of the lemonade story, the issue is someone not following you back on Twitter.

You could react by feeling sad, angry or insulted. Or you could look for another reason… a more logical, non-emotional one.

Ok, one more story – to spotlight another side of the equation.

I first heard this anecdote attributed to the great copywriter, Gary Halbert. It goes like this. At a conference, Gary asked a roomful of students a question.

“If you were running a hamburger stand and I granted you ANY ONE competitive advantage, what would you ask for?”

One student said: “The best location.”

Another asked: “Can I have the tastiest recipe?”

A third wanted the best ads. And so it went around the room.

Finally, Gary smiled and shared the perfect answer:

“A HUNGRY CROWD!”

Imagine… if you’re selling food, don’t you want HUNGRY buyers?

If you’re selling water, wouldn’t you prefer THIRSTY customers?

If you’re selling information, isn’t it great to have SEEKERS of that material?

Of COURSE, you would!

And if you’re selling YOURSELF – wouldn’t you rather have people interested in YOU as your audience?

That’s exactly what you’re doing on social media and networks – selling YOU.

And if someone does not want to BUY “you”, why would you want that person to FOLLOW you on Twitter, FRIEND you on Facebook or CONNECT with you on LinkedIn?

.

Which leads nicely in to the next flash poll question. I asked:

“Would you feel happier if I followed you back, but then ignored most of what you tweet?”

Extend the lemonade analogy further, and imagine you accepted the glass from me, because you didn’t want to offend me by saying “No”.

What do you do next with a glass of fluid you don’t like, can’t drink, and have accepted as an obligation?

You could hold it in your hand for as long as you were in my store.

Or you could set it down somewhere untasted.

Or even pour it into a flowerpot when I’m not looking!

You could pretend to sip from it, and keep up the pretense for as long as possible.

You could screw up your courage and gulp it down, your face grimacing in distaste, experiencing extreme discomfort (even pain) as the price.

Whew! You handled that situation well, didn’t you?

But what are you going to do when the next 50, or 100 or 500 ’stores’ you enter hand you glasses of lemonade too?!

That’s how it will work when you are ‘forced’ to follow many people on Twitter – just because THEY expect or want you to.

Or because you do it out of a sense of guilt, reciprocity or anything similar.

And that’s EXACTLY why I do NOT follow back everyone who follows me.

Not because I don’t cherish, respect or admire you… but BECAUSE I DO.

I’ve said it before, and will repeat it again.

If you are a part of my Twitter universe, YOU matter to me.

By being on my Twitter stream, by sharing even a tiny bit of your time and attention with me, by listening to what I say, you are doing me a HUGE favor.

I acknowledge you, respect you and am extremely grateful for you.

Everything I share on Twitter is done with that responsibility firmly in mind – and each tweet must pass the “What’s in it for THEM?” test before I post it.

And unless I can reciprocate, treat YOUR tweets with the same respect and attention that they deserve, I won’t insult you by following you – and then ignoring you, except when I feel like it!

Yes, there’s a ‘hidden’ rebuke in this statement – did you get it?

Let me turn a popular paradigm right upon its head and see what you think.

If YOU are following me – as well as many hundreds (or thousands) of others – and because of YOUR choice, you are forced to IGNORE most of what I’m sharing on Twitter… then think about it.

Aren’t you insulting me?

More than even if you never did follow me in the first place?

Harsh, you cry. Not fair, you argue. Arrogant, you yell.

But suspend the drama and emotion for awhile, and make your point using LOGIC. You, my dear ‘Twitter follower’, are my “hungry crowd”… except, when you ignore me, you are NOT hungry!

You don’t want my ‘hamburger’. You’ve got many more ‘glasses of lemonade’ to sip from. And what’s worse, you don’t even LIKE lemons!

How do you think I feel about THAT?

Please share your thoughts in a comment – and let’s have a lively discussion about this question. By all means, attack ideas… but not the people voicing them. (All comments are moderated, btw!)

(As a side note, did you notice how I’m following the strategy I outlined on my TWITTER TRENDS report? You can download it free – click here)