A suddenly intense wave of emotion washed over me as I sat staring at my computer screen this morning, contemplating my work week.
Had I made a different choice ten years earlier, I might be fighting off a crowd of people who called in weeks ahead to fix an appointment to meet me and hand over large amounts of money to have me repair their hearts – or tell them they had nothing to worry about.
Instead, I made another choice.
And today, most of my typical day is spent knocking on virtual doors of people I ASK for money to help fund a child’s heart operation – because their family cannot afford it.
The answer is often “No”. And each time I hear it, a small voice within asks: “Was my choice right?”
- It’s louder when, in return for a week of patient negotiating, I get a short mention at the bottom of someone’s email newsletter.
- It gets harder to ignore when a person’s help desk, manned by a virtual assistant, blocks access to decision makers.
- It sounds mocking when I see how folks who once eagerly sought my support to promote their business now say they’re too busy or overwhelmed to help.
It would be another thing if I didn’t have any other options. But I did.
And made my choice.
It’s a choice that has helped many little kids receive an operation they otherwise may not have.
But the stark contrast between the two alternatives I had keeps that question nagging away at me.
Was my choice right?
There are times – like today – when I just am not sure.
Time will tell.
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